Human Simulation
by excellentboiledpotatoes
Summary: Cassian Andor spent many years learning to ignore emotions. He had to. One Shot looking at Cassian's point of view during Rogue One and learning to live again.


So the premise for this story is that Cassian has spent so much time putting away his emotions that he doesn't even feel them anymore.

Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Cassian pressed his blaster into the man's back and shoots, not lingering on the trigger and heard the all too familiar thud of the body falling to the ground. He hated this part of his work with every sinew in his body. Cassian looked at the body and found it hard to connect the man he had been talking to moments before to this shell. That eerie feeling pierced him again. It was cold, so cold it stiffened him, as if his body liked to remind him what it was to die. He stared at the body as if trying one last time to glimpse life and told himself that now was the time for sentiment. Again. The plastic movements of the Stormtroopers echoed through the thin alleyways and he began to scramble up the wall, knowing what the empire did to captured members of the rebel alliance. He'd seen men and women broken by them before. He wasn't exactly curious to experience it for himself.

"Quickly Kay" Cassian said as the doors opened to the ship.

"I believe hello is the usual greeting" K2-SO quipped.

Cassian stared at him evenly.

"Just do it would you, I'm in a bit of difficult position" He peered around the closing doors. "The whole city is looking for me"

"Again" K2 muttered.

"Please, K, not now. Let's just get out of here" Cassian said, taking off his jacket.

"Fine, fine" the droid replied starting the engines, flipping switches and pulling levers until the aircraft flew smoothly over the chaotic city and into hyperspace. Cassian let out a small sigh of relief and left the droid in the cockpit.

"Where did I leave it?" he muttered in his distinct accent, rummaging through boxes of equipment.

"On the telescreen already Captain" K2-SO called out.

Cassian stopped and smirked at the droid that despite only being programmed to simulate human behaviour, seemed to know him like the back of his hand. Oddly reflective of himself. A simulation human. Maybe that's why he did not find any true friends in the rebellion. No true human could relate to him because he only imitated human behaviour, and a poor one at that.

Opening the file on the telescreen that K2 had loaded, Cassian read the profile of the man he had just killed. He had a compulsion to read the files on a person he had to execute. That the man, Tivik, had a 7-year girl and a 4-year-old son. His wife was a librarian and his father had died two months ago with complications from a common cold. That chill came to him again. The sickening feeling in his stomach. He imagined those children hearing the news that their beloved father had been shot in the back in a dirty alleyway. Betrayed by a person he trusted.

He felt like sobbing, but he had shed his last tears over a person dead years ago. He didn't know what happened to those tears now. Probably bottled up deep, deep, deep somewhere in his programming. Cassian had learned long ago that showing emotions was what the empire counted on. They counted on controlling you because you had emotions. If they killed off your whole family, for instance, they could silence you, override you with you with your own grief. It was much easier to just stop emotions. Sure, you could smile for a commander or laugh at some dignitaries joke as much as K2 could. He climbed back into the cockpit, stoic and calm.

"'The greater good', Cassian" K2-SO.

Cassian turned to the droid, his eyebrows drooping slightly.

"What?"

"'The greater good' Cassian. That is what you said. 'What I do for the alliance is none of your business, it's for the greater good'"

"Yes well that is if the greater good comes one day"

"I believe it will" K2 responded as the ship started to come out of hyperspace.

"I'm taking your word for it K" Cassian smirked.

"No, I mean that the possibility of failure is not…100%"

"That is reassuring"

The ship jolted out of hyperspace and glided through the atmosphere onto the rebel alliance base of Yavin 4. K2-SO transmitted the secret security code and the rebel watchman waved them through. Cassian sighed as the ship came into landing amongst the rainforest. Time to play Captain. He could see the sturdy figure of General Draven. The ship stopped and Cassian walked down the door. He walked up to the General.

"Excellent job Captain" he praised, shaking his hand "I knew you were the one for the job"

"Thankyou sir," Cassian said flatly, bowing ever so slightly.

"What have you got for us?" Draven asked, walking towards the headquarters.

"The empire is building something, something big. Saw Gerrara know about it"

Draven sighed deeply.

"How did I know Saw would be involved with all this? Luckily we've just made a massive breakthrough. We've located a human in prison by the name of Liana Hallik.

"What does she have to do with Saw Gerrara?" Cassian asked, curious.

Draven stopped and looked around.

"We've heard rumours, that we've almost confirmed, that she is…" Draven leant closer although there was no one around. "…the daughter of Galen Erso"

"Erso!" Cassian exclaimed.

"Yes, Jyn Erso. She is the link we need with Saw Gerrara" Draven said excitedly. His eyes lit up, almost shone. "We are going to capture her immediately. It's Imperial territory so we need K2-SO"

"Take him" Cassian replied. "Keep him safe" he added.

Draven nodded and walked away in his military fashion.

Cassian continued inside the rebel base.

Stone cold.

* * *

Jyn Erso was not what Cassian expected her to be. When Draven had mentioned her, he pictured a snobby, snivelling girl. He first caught a glimpse of her as she was escorted to the rebel alliance headquarters, thinking she was a recruit. So, when Draven called him to the conference centre in the building to see interrogate Jyn Erso, he didn't believe his eyes. She was older than he expected. Cassian had pictured a girl younger, doing time in prison for 'gentle rehabilitation'. The woman in front of him looked his age, but he guessed that life had made her appear older than she was. She looked tough, weather-beaten with the same expression that he saw in the mirror. That hard-set expression, the kind that appears impenetrable to the untrained eye. As for his 'snobby snivelling girl' image, that had been blown out the window within minutes of their arrival on Jedha. Erso could fight with the best of the Alliance.

Now Cassian had to kill her father.

 _For the greater good Cassian, for the greater good._

He clambered up the rocks around the Imperial Engineering Base on Eadu. Bodhi pointed out Galen Erso to him. Galen Erso. He had heard that name whispered before but now he was right there. This was the most important person he had in his sights for a long, long time. The most important order he had received in a long, long time. With Bodhi hurriedly dismissed, he assembled the long-range sniper function to his blaster. The rain pelted down on him, making him shiver with the cold. He adjusted his aim, placing Galen in his scope. He also didn't match his expectations of the callous military man. There was something kind in his features, as hard as they were. He readied his fingers on the trigger. Something in that moment was different. He felt strange. He locked onto the target. The feeling welled up inside him. Despite the cold, he felt…warm. The feeling in him played again, and he recognised it. A dusty old record in his memory. It whispered **pity.** He flicked the water and hair out of his face and started to depress the familiar feel of the trigger. **Pity,** it said in his ear. The warmth inside him spread. **Pity,** it chanted, first softly then louder, until his whole body pounded with the words **pity, pity, pity, pity, pity.** He gave in and pulled off the trigger. Breathing heavily, he realised what he had done. Captain Cassian Andor had disobeyed and order. The voice had died down, and Cassian tried to pinpoint what had happened. The sensation was both foreign and recognisable. He had felt something; he had defied the programming. He began to stagger off when his heartbeat warmed again. **Loyalty** , it said. He turned back around to see a figure climbing the ladder to the base.

 _Jyn!_

He commed into K2 after hearing of the impending Rebel Attack. There was no time. He had to do something; he had an urge to save her.

* * *

Cassian Andor lay on the platform of the data vault in the Citadel Tower on Scarif. He was in the shocked state between consciousness and unconsciousness. His vision was blurry and pain rippled through him like a shockwave. He turned himself over slowly, wincing through the pain. His eyes started to focus as he looked upwards towards the small opening at the top of the tower. Casssian was afraid. **Fear, loneliness, defeat, anger, anxiety, distress.** He feared for his life. He had been in many life-threatening situations before that only caused a rush of adrenalin, but this was a deep-seated, stuck in your stomach fear. He was paralysed by it. He feared... death. He feared what it would feel like. He feared not accomplishing his hopes, his ambitions. He feared not living as much as he feared death. Connected with that fear was fear for Jyn. Was she alright? Was she dead? Was she as scared as he was? As Cassian lay there on that platform, broken, but not quite beaten, he felt her fears. And she feared dying alone.

"Don't worry" he whispered to himself as he pushed himself off the ground.

 _I want to be there; I want to die with you_

Upright now, he looked at the height of the opening. Again, an audible sigh came from him.

 _Hope._ His mind chanted, as he placed his hand one after another, heaving himself up. _Hope. Hope. Hope. Hope. Hope. Hope._

It was in no time that he had reached the top, by some miracle of the force. He timed his jump and left through the exhaust vent. There she was, he could see her on the other side of the Citadel Tower. **Relief**. She was alive. She was alive. He wasn't too late. He hobbled towards her. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Krennic approach her. Cassian followed him, hobbling from column to column. Finally, he had him in sights, spouting his speech. Cassian pointed his blaster at him. He realised that this was the man he should've had his sights on the whole time. Krennic not Galen Erso. He should've killed him when he had the chance on Eadu. Was it necessary to kill him now though? He had assinated many people from this far away. He was an excellent shot, he could if he wanted to. However, he was done with killing. He had killed his last. He realigned his blaster to aim for Krennic's shoulder, as the imperial officer came to the climax of his speech. He pulled the trigger and Krennic fell. Jyn looked shocked as she turned to look at him. He nodded to her. She ran over to the dish and pulled the lever. The whirring of engines signified that the dish had begun transmission. They had done it. They had taken every chance and they made it. Their chances were spent, but they'd done it. Jyn rushed over to him. He leant on to her, aching from the physical exertion but as they came together, the ache calmed down. He couldn't help grinning at her. Jyn looked over at the crumpled Krennic and made a lunge for him. Cassian pulled her back.

"Leave him'' he whispered. If these were their last moments, he wanted to spend them without a fight against the enemy, but rejoicing with the allies. She must have realised the same thing, because she left Krennic, although Cassian could feel the hatred she felt towards him. She put her arm around him, and they hobbled to the elevator on the rooftop. The slumped apart in the elevator as she punched in the code to go down. The stared at each other and begun to move closer to each other instinctively like they had begun to do over the last few days. He wished he had known her more. He felt like he had to study her features, like an image you need to remember. **Longing.** He felt like he had to touch her to check so was real, not just a figment of his lonely imagination. His hand brushed against her arm in the dark and a sparkling sensation ignited. She was real. She, who had changed him so much in so little time, was so real. Her hand travelled to his face and his to hers. They both held it there, a silent confirmation of what could've been. The light flashed in between the darkness. Cassian felt the now familiar feeling of an emotion ready to be revealed. However, the elevator came to a sudden stop. Jyn slid her arm around his shoulder, where it fitted like lock and key. They exited the elevator as if they were entering a new world. The world where there was just Cassian and Jyn and Death. They smiled collectively at the brightening sun and the Death Star looming above the horizon. Jyn guided Cassian to the water's edge. She placed Cassian on the ground before sitting down herself.

Cassian felt like he needed to break the silence, one last time. He needed to tell her something.

"Your father would've been proud of you," he said, smiling at her. Jyn smiled back. It amazed Cassian that they could smile at this situation. They had admitted defeat. They heard the roar of a disintegrating earth, like they'd heard on Jedha.

Jyn's hand slipped over his. They stared at the Sunset together, though it was hard to tell where to look at the crumbling horizon. Somehow, their bodies managed to come together. Cassian's body surged with emotion. **Happiness.** As he held Jyn to the sound of the blast, he pulled her closer, as if wanting to feel life one last time. He remembered that feeling he got when he killed someone. He imagined that was what death felt like. But now as he moved his hands across her back, he realised it was so much different than that. He held her tighter again, and as the light from the blast grew closer to engulfing them, Cassian felt one final explosion of sensation. His chest burned hot and he radiated one last, defiant cry that Cassian Andor was a human. He wasn't just a programmed system.

It cried, **love.**

* * *

Yeah, so just a short little story. Please forgive any character/storyline errors.

Have a wonderful day


End file.
